Monday, March 25, 2013

Why I avoid fertiles!

As a woman battling with infertility, I avoid fertiles like the plaque! It can be difficult to keep friends. But besides the obvious baby announcements, showers, and birthday parties... there is another reason! Have you ever been in a room with fertiles? It can be quite awkward! I was recently invited to a 31 party. It looks like a purse party or baby diaper party. I didn't investigate it very far! Well, my invite I received  was via Facebook. I am friends with her in real life and she is pregnant #4! As if that isn't enough! The 30+ women she invited are all mothers too! I learned this by viewing their Facebook pictures in the invite section! YES ALL MOTHERS!

I avoid fertiles or should I say parties that contain them. It is never fun for me and not just for the obvious reasons! Because this is what usually happens...

Fertile #1:  "Do you have any kids????"
Me: (big hard gulp)  "No"
Fertile #1: (All loud and perky) "OMG why not? It is so awesome!!!! It is such a blessing and the best thing I ever did!"

Now do I go into details? Do I say I have battled with infertility for years and one miscarriage to show for it? Do I go into I have PCOS and hypothyroidism from Hashimoto's (an autoimmune disease that attacks the thyroid glad)? Do I tell them I am currently on Clomid, Metformin, and Synthoid to attempt my quest? Or do I say something generic like "I am trying, we will see?" Just to risk the cliche remarks? Like "Drink wine and you'll get pregnant!" or "Just relax!" Well, you all know the other cliche miracle infertility treatments fertiles want to project on us?!

Most of the time my brain to mouth filter in me seems to have malfunctioned in situations like this! I pretty much want to tell everyone to shut the fuck up! Hell, some of the time I want to slap a bitch!

Then, these situations progress to a mommyfest! Gag me!
Fertile # 1: OMG little Timmy shit in the sink! It was so cute! It was the first time he didn't go in his diaper!
Me: (Eye roll)
Fertile #2: OMG little Monica walked at 9 months old! She is going to be my little genius!
Me: (What? Prove it! LOL)
Fertile #3: OMG little Mickey didn't walk until he was 9 months 2 weeks! Hope nothing is wrong with him?
Me: (Really???)
Fertile #4: OMG there is an infertile woman in our presence, this talk might make her feel uncomfortable!
Me: (Okay why is everyone starring at me? As if I am some freak of nature. As if God said she is too evil! I strike her down as BARREN! You are right! I have absolutely nothing to contribute to this conversation!)

And this is why I avoid fertiles!!!!! 


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